episode 6: Blackout [[B]]

As we took the on-ramp to the interstate, the tomtom said, "bear right on to the motorway."
"motorway? what'chu talkin' 'bout?" i asked it.
It wants you to turn on the interstate," robin said.
"well i know that. it's just talking weird," i said.
we were taking the interstate west at 500 mph now. the tomtom was not happy with it. "we need to get a nuvi and see if that can work at supersonic speeds," Robin said.
"stupid modern technology," i mumbled.
then the BatCar said, "your cake is ready. please enjoy."
Robin and i looked back.
"There's a big cake with an old lady in a car following us," Robin said.
"i didn't think the handicapped egg beater would work!" i said.
"we should donate the cake. it could feed like 50 little kids," Robin said.
"okay," i agreed. we went to salvation army and made the anonymous donation.
we had just gotten to the California border when the BatProjector filled the windshield of the BatMobile. i nearly drove off the interstate before i hit the brakes and skidded to a halt on the side of the interstate.
"Springfield is in danger!" the mayor screamed at us.
"AGAIN?!?!" we both asked in unison.
"yes again!"
"you need to come save us from the-"
All of the BatMobiles electric systems went down. our cell phones and BatPhones wouldn't turn on and our matching BatWatches we're blank. As we got out, we noticed every electric thing in sight was down. cars were stopped all over the interstate and all the lights in range were out.
"What the..." Robin trailed out.

Episode 5: Handicap [[R]]

"Augh, if people are handicap, they PROBABLY SHOULDN'T be driving!" Batman yelled angrily, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

I watched, amused as an old lady drove a steady pace of 11 miles per hour.

"JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST, COULD YOU MOVE ANY SLOWER?!?!" he shouted.

As if on cue, the old lady drove 6 mph slower.

I snickered and began pressing random buttons on the dashboard.

"Auto-Pilot Engaged." the computer said in a monotone voice.

"Nope!" I pressed the button again to turn it off.

"Invisible Screen Engaged."

"No."

"Oil Engaged."

"No."

"Mexican Party Engaged."

I shot Batman a look that screamed, "What the heck?"

He blushed and pressed the button again to shut it off.

"Giant Earth Destroying Missle Engaged."

"NO!" we both screamed and pushed the button again.

"Handicap Egg Beater."

I looked at Batman with questioning gaze.

"It might work." he shrugged.

"Only one way to find out!" I allowed the Handicap Egg Beater to start.

A giant hand reached out of the hood of the Batmobile, and grabbed the old lady's car.

A muffled scream was all we heard as the car was put into a large bowl of cake mix and was spun around.

"Your cake will me done in twenty minutes." the robotic voice said.

"Delicious!" I giggled and we drove at a steady speed of 203 mph.

On we drove, with a giant cake bowl being held off to the side of the Batmobile.
(EPISODE OF THE WEEK)

Episode 4: Mr. J's iPod?

Robin and i were sleeping on the BatCouches while the end credits for The Invisible played over and over again.
Just then, the BatProjector turned on. Robin and i rolled of the couches onto the floor as the mayors face appeared on the wall.
As soon as he saw us in our pajamas on the floor, he burst into laughter. we stood up glaring at him. he stopped laughing only letting out a strangled giggle.
"Springfield is in danger!" he exclaimed still smiling. "you must save your citizens from Mr. J."
"him again?" Robin asked. "didn't we just beat him 3 hours ago?"
"yeah. we did," i looked at the mayor with a look of curiosity. "did he get away from jail?"
"well it is a Springfield jail..." he trailed off.
"so where is he?" i asked.
"he's in the power plant, trying to do something to the power," the mayor said.
"Great. He thinks he needs power now," Robin said.
"most supervillians do," the mayor said.
Robin and I glared at him.
We should go beat him just so we can...do something else," I said.
"mmkay," Robin said.
I killed the power on the BatProjector. We climbed into the BatMobile and sped through downtown Springfield on the way to the power plant.
When we got there, we saw Mr. J sitting by one of the generators looking at his watch. Robin turned on the BatListener to hear what he was mumbling.
"why do batterys take so long to charge?" he asked.
We snuck up behind him and i tapped him on his shoulder.
He turned around and fainted when he saw Robin and I.
"That was easy," i said doing a perfect imitation of the staples button.
I looked at what he was doing. He had a small battery plugged into the generator. Robin unplugged it. I looked at it.
I wonder, I thought.
"get out your iPod," I told Robin.
She pulled out her broken iPod that wouldn't stay charged. I plugged the battery in the bottom of the iPod. It came on. the battery bar said it was full.
"He was building an iPod battery?" Robin asked.
"Maybe his iPod wouldn't stay charged either," i said.
"they do tend to have that problem."
"we'll now that that's done, lets go back to the BatCave."
"sounds good to me" Robin said. . .

Episode 3: Wake The J's [[R]]

I carefully snuck into the kitchen, being careful not to wake Batman, who was sleeping peacefully on the BatSofa. I opened the fridge and pulled out the waffles from our breakfast. I took one last glance around the room before tip-toeing into the dining room and sitting down. I ate the waffles happily. I froze when I heard footstep coming into the dining room.

"Robin, what the heck are you doing?" Batman asked me groggily, running a hand through his hair. I froze, half a waffle still hanging from my mouth.

"Umm. . . " I began, the piece of waffle falling to the plate.

"You do know it's 3.30 in the morning, right?" he yawned, taking a spot next to me.

I checked my BatWatch. I nodded, swallowing my food.

"Jeez, you're weird." he sighed and took a waffle off my plate. We ate in silence.

All of the sudden, our BatProjector turned on, and a picture of the Mayor appeared on the BatWall.

"Please! You must- Are you two eating waffles?" the Mayor cut himself off to give us weird looks.

We looked at each other. Now we both had waffles hanging from our mouths.

"Mahbah." the waffles fell from our mouths.

"Well the city is in touble! Mr. J is back, and he brought three Bitchions!" the Mayor began to scream.

I burst out lauging, and both Batman and the Mayor looked at me skeptically.

"Sorry, I just realized you were wearing Tinkerbell pajamas." I giggled at the Mayor, who glared daggers at me. I cleared my throat and sat up straighter.

"You must get into action! Quickly now!" The BatProjector shut itself off and the Mayor was gone.

"Damn, we never got to finish our waffles." Batman sighed. "Top the BatMobile?" he asked ne, his expression tired. I yawned and nodded. We went at an awesome pace of 2 miles per hour to our vehicle. We sleepily pulled our PJ's off to reveal our outfits.

We drove as fast as we dared to Downtown Springfield. When we arrived, Mr. J and the Bitchions were beating up three old ladies with giant purses.

"Ha! Take that, Grandma! That's what you get for baking oatmeal raison cookies for my birthday last year!" Mr. J yelled.

"Oh my god, it's freakin' Batman and Robin!" BreBitchin said, pausing in her beating of old ladies.

"And we've come to," Batman interrupted himself with a yawn, "save the day. . ." he rubbed his eyes.

"You'll never stop us! These old ladies deserve this!" EmilyEgo yelled, charging at me. I stepped aside and tripped her. She screamed as she fell into a random vat of cement. INSTANT cement, that is!

"Can I keep it?" I asked Batman hopefully, motioning to the EmilyEgo statue.

"Of course."

"NOOO! EMILYEGO!" BritannyBagel yelled in agony.

"That's the eighteenth assisstant this week!" Mr. J sighed, rubbing his temples.

"And it will not be the last!" Batman yelled.

BritannyBagel and BreBitchin charged at us.

TO BE CONTINUED. . .

Episode 2: introduction (continued)

Hello everyone! This is Batman. I welcome you to the Batcave. Here, you will follow our adventures wherever they take us. We could be on the other end of the world or sitting in your basement using your computer to make this blog entry. We could even be in space watching the world fall into chaos at the hands of evil Mr J. But we will keep you informed about what we are saving you from. During the day, we go about our normal days. but at night, we protect you and your country and your planet. you should thank us.
Batman

Episode 1: Introduction

Welcome, readers everywhere! From Tokyo to Sydney, your presence is greatly appreciated! I, Robin, [I'm girl, people] and Batman, who will be posting later, are here to save the day! Our epic adventures of food-battling-contriban will suck you in, then you'll become our mind slave and- oops, too far. ANYWAY, keep readng, we'll keep saving you guys anonymously, and you won't know a thing about it. . .